Almost all of us have worked for a difficult boss, a bully supervisor or a demanding manager at some time in our lives. It is sad to think that some people with big job titles make the people working for them miserable.
According to the Workplace Bullying and Trauma Institute, an abusive boss is more likely to be a woman than a man. Woman to woman bullying represents 50 percent of all workplace bullying; Woman to man bullying is extremely rare — only 8 percent, Man to woman is 30 percent, Man to man 12 percent. Often bully bosses try to mask their own insecurities by striking
What should you do if you work for a difficult boss? Here are today’s five tips.
1. Identify the behavior.
There are all kinds of difficult bosses.
There are the critics who use insults, put-downs, and name-calling. They may use aggressive eye contact to intimidate.
Then there bosses who are control freaks. They want to control your ability to network in the company or to let you stand out. They usually take most if not all the credit for team projects.
Another type are those who are emotionally out of control and explosive. They raise their voice often and even scream.
There are also managers who pretend to be nice, while \ trying to sabotage you.
2. Stand up for yourself
If your boss has a difficult management style, you don’t have to let their bad behavior go. You can respond back in a professional manner. You will need to train them how to treat you. Just make sure you don’t come back angry, demanding or insulting like they do.
If your boss puts you down or insults you or puts you down, you can respond with something like “In what way does calling me stupid solve the problem? I think that there’s a better way to deal with this.” “I really don’t appreciate being called names. Let’s find a better way to work with each other so you can get what you need from me”.
If you find out that your boss is bad-mouthing you to other managers or staff, confront them directly and professionally. Then, ask him or her is causing them to do this. Ask if they can please come to you directly if there is an issue so the two of you can work on solving the problem.
You could say, “I’ve been hearing from other people in the company that you’re not happy with my performance. If this is true, can we talk about what you need so I can help solve the problem? I want to be an effective employee in your company.
If your boss is a micro manager or control freak who’s breathing down your neck, you should address it. Say something like, “I don’t function effectively when you are looking over my shoulder all the time. If I’m doing something that doesn’t work, let’s talk about it so I can give you what you need and do my job well.
If someone screams at you, speak up. If you’ve made a mistake, acknowledge it. But let your boss know that when they scream, it creates a difficult work environment. Say how you feel using “I messages”. For example: “Mary, when you yell at me, I get nervous and have a hard time getting my job done. If I have done something incorrect, can you calmly tell me what you are upset about so I can start fixing the problem?”
3. Take good notes
Documenting your boss’s difficult behavior is very important. Employees often get scared and go in denial. Having documentation will help you know when enough is enough. Your written records can document how severe the situation is.
If the bullying is really bad and you decide to take legal action down the line, you may need the information. It’s best to document these incidents as soon as possible so they’re fresh in your mind.
Documentation is also important if you plan to report the behavior to your boss’s boss or to your company’s human resources department. But first try to work out the situation directly with the boss. Once the boss knows you have reported them, things could get worse, not better.
4. Know your limits, when enough is enough.
No boss is perfect. Most Bosses may exhibit bad behavior sometimes But if your boss is abusing you, that’s a problem.
The problem takes on greater urgency if the abuse starts to make you feel bad. If you find yourself becoming sick more often, or your blood pressure is higher or you are afraid at work. When the bullying has had a prolonged affect on your health or your life outside of work, it’s time to get out. It’s also time to leave if your confidence is slipping.
No job is worth the stress of dealing with a challenging boss. Get your self esteem back and get out if you can’t work out the problem.
One last tip, if you are a high achiever your boss might not want to lose you. Look into conflict mediation as another possible solution to this issue. Sometimes a third party can really help parties resolve issues.
